wHen aSkEd "What is your story" oN A SiTe fOr PareNTs oF chILDreN wiTH aUTisM ...

I am a 28 year old wife and mother of four amazing children ... four years old and under :) I have 2 sons (4,3) and 2 daughters (1, 2months) who make up my entire world.

Last summer (2010), my (then 2 yr old) 3 year old son was diagnosed with high functioning Autism. To my husband and I, this diagnosis was anything BUT tragic. We felt relief and that we were finally taking a step in the 'right' direction. We had known for quite some time that there was something unique about our little boy, but until we knew what 'it' was, we felt lost. Surprising to many, we found our STRENGTH in the word "Autism". Until now we hadn't felt like we were leading our son in the right direction ... or any for that matter. We were no longer curious, worried, or feeling helpless. We were ready to take this Autism journey with everything we had. We embraced it (and continue to) with everything in our hearts and souls.

Last Summer ,our son (2 years old) began using his first word. It wasn't the typical "mommy' or "daddy". His word was "open"... or "popen" as he said it. He learned this word with the help of an amazing Early-On educator who I will never in my life forget. She helped my son learn to speak. This was by far the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. She would bring a tote of toys into our house for her visits and by this, was able to get my son intrigued and engaged. He became very familiar with the routine of having to say "open" to be able to play with her.

From the mouth of this amazing teacher came the words "what would you think if I said that I think your son may have Autism". With glassy, tear-filled eyes I looked at her and said the word "relief". She was taken back by the one word I could say and said "you wouldn't be in denial, upset, or angry"? I thought to myself for a minute, looked at my son, then said very confidently "No, not in any way. I would be relieved that we have our answer".

From there we took the steps of Pediatrician, Psychiatrist, and then the psychological evaluation. Which came to the conclusion or son has Autistic Disorder - High Functioning.

With the help of Early-On, in-home therapy, floor time, OT, sensory therapy, ECSE, and parents who will never stop fighting - our son is now able to communicate his wants and needs, answer yes/no questions, is potty trained, and is learning how to do some of his ADL's independently.

We are so proud of our son ... for all of his success in just this last year. When we look back a year ago when he wasn't even speaking ONE word and then fast forward to today ... it is nothing short of amazing. He is amazing, and his growth continues to give me hope.

lOve sToRY

What does love look like

Love looks like a girl in Geometry class chewing the tip of her pen, not even realizing that the boy who has a crush on her is chewing his too with the hope that she will turn around, notice him, and think it is fate ...

Love looks like a boy going to every one of a girls soccer practices pretending it was a coincidence that he was at that particular place at that particular time ...

Love looks like a boy turning the radio down in the car and wiping his nervous, sweaty hands on his pants in preparation of asking out the girl he likes ... and love looks like a girl saying "no" and waiting, then laughing while saying "yes" to ease the boy's nerves ...

Love looks like a girl walking through high school with a 4 foot long teddy bear, a giant balloon, and a card that is half the size of her for Valentine's Day ...

Love looks like a boy and a girl alone in a room while everyone else is off making music and lyrics on a family ski trip ...

Love looks like a break-up, getting back together, another break-up, followed by getting back together. Knowing at age 15 that regardless of struggles, differences, and other's opinions, that this IS the 'real thing' ...

Love looks like a proposal in the laundry room of a girl's parents house. A boy giving a girl all he had at that moment in time - himself ...

Love looks like a boy and a girl buying a house together and with little means, making that house a home ...

Love looks like a boy whispering the words of Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" to a girl in front of all their guests at a wedding they have both anticipated for so long ...

Love looks like a husband and a wife choosing to start a family ... and although it wasn't the start they both hoped for, love looks like a husband never leaving his wife's side as she is losing their first child in a hospital bed ...

Love looks like a husband and a wife seeking God for answers and trusting that he has a plan for them, a plan in his timing, not theirs ...

Love looks like a husband and a wife welcoming their first, second, third, and fourth child into their family with unconditional love ...

Love looks like a husband and wife saying good-bye on October 29, 2008, the Great Lakes Naval base, Lake Geneva, trips home to Michigan, a fifth wheel trailer, and December 22nd 2009 when it was all over ...

Love looks like a husband and a wife's loving, free-spirited little boy, not a diagnosis ...

Love is a husband and wife who have triumphed, conquered, and relied on each other when others would have given up ...

To me, love has always been and will always be "us".

tHe swEEtEst wOrdS frOm tHe mOSt loVIng bOy

I had just gotten dressed and ready to run some errands with the family. I was heading towards the stairway to go down and help Andy round up the kids. Before I got there Dominic greets me, looks me up and down and says "Mommy, you look beautiful. Come on, you need to go show daddy how beautiful you look".

The sweetest words from the most loving boy. Little does he know that I will carry these words with me forever.

tOdAY wE hAd a PaRk DaY ... SOrT oF ...

Sounds like a good day to go to the park and PLAY SPORTS!!!

Feed the baby, get all four kids dressed, help kids look presentable, pack the diaper bag, get dressed myself, make self look presentable (fail!), gather: Frisbee, baseball and bat, 2 soccer balls, golf club and balls, put baby in car seat, get 3 kids shoes on (one in soccer cleats of course), buckle 3 kids in car seats/boosters, pack diaper bag and purse in the car. Whew. Time to go to the park! Crap, have to stop and get gas. Less than 3 miles until empty! Ok, on the road again. Drive to Pine Park, get the kids out and realize WE FORGOT ALL OF THE SPORTS STUFF!!! Ugh. Now what?!!

IMPROVISE!

Instead of playing with all of our fun equipment, we raced from one field goal post to the other and back. Over and over and over :) But, the kids had fun!! Luckily for me they adapt well to change.

Love & Fun

EmOry's Nb piCtuRes

We were fortunate enough to have our friend Jen take Emory's newborn pictures when she was just 3 days old :) She was a "slight" diva for the session, but I absolutely love the pics that turned out!! Thanks again Jen!

wElcoMe to OuR woRlD eMorY kaTHlEen

June 17, 2011 we welcomed our daughter Emory Kathleen Hulings

PaReNtiNg aN auTisTiC cHiLd

I was looking over some comments on the 'Autism Speaks' facebook page because they had asked the question "What does Autism Mean to You". I found one response that brought me to tears and explained 'to a T' how I feel. I wanted a place to write it down so I could always look back on it. Then I fiured I would share it as well :)

"It means having to be a better parent and a better person than I would have been otherwise. It means noticing everything, questioning everything, trying to decipher, to read the signs and figure out what life is like for my wonderful little boy who can't tell me yet. It means sleepless nights, a lot of anxiety (about the present, about the future) and inexpressible joy and celebration for every success however incremental. It's the best of times and the worst of times at the same time, all the time". ~ Jen Turell